Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, by Seth Grahame-Smith

     Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. More bizarro literature from Seth Grahame-Smith. Wait, let's change the word literature to writing. I'm not sure how this book, or Grahame-Smith's Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, will hold up over time as literature or that they are literature at all. They are amusing novelties, for sure, but awkward and a bit profane, if the truth be known. What sacred cow will Grahame-Smith take on next, Sue Barton: Plague Spreader Nurse?
     Still, I have to admit that AL:VH was a fun read, blurring the lines between history and fantasy, and really goring it out with beheadings, axings, gunshots point blank in the face. I couldn't wait to see how the plot device would play itself out--turns out that the Civil War was started by vampires who wanted to enslave not just Africans but everyone in America to insure a steady supply of fresh blood. The scenes of vampires preying on enslaved blacks were among the most gruesome and profane.

     Young Abe, growing up on the frontier, comes across vampires early and often. He sharpens his wits along with his trusty ax blade while his career is shaped by divine and vampiric intervention in a giganto conspiracy of "good" vampires (northern) vs. "bad" vampires (southern).
     Imagine the staid and conservative Biographies of Great Americans you used to read in your elementary school library. Now imagine one of those books ripped apart and infused with vampires. That's this book. It's like the classic girl's biography of Abigail Adams turning out to be about a guerrilla abortionist midwife rescuing women from unwanted pregnancy or something. (Now we find out why she kept trying to get John to send her more "pins.")

Abe Lincoln's weapon of choice

     I found AL:VH funny and compelling for all the wrong reasons. The distortion of reality disturbs me, because I know Colbert's concept of "truthiness" by which the thing which seems most important or truthful becomes the accepted actual truth. I was laughing at the absurdity of the concept while worrying about this book being the only exposure to Abraham Lincoln's life and work that some people might ever get. And don't get me wrong, Lincoln is portrayed heroically; he is not lampooned. Alas. There is nothing I can do about it. I think this is a plague of middle age--to worry about people not getting the past right, wanting to carry the past along into the present and the future.

Front and back cover of the book--inspired!

     What I really like, though, is that Grahame-Smith has taken his concepts and run with them. He has asked the great "what-ifs" and insisted on answers. What if Hitler was a direct and secret descendant of Thomas Jefferson from his liaison with a Jewish-African slave? What if...what if. It's an outrageous game.
     I'm alarmed that the last several books I have read (the eight Redwall books and the two by Grahame-Smith) all involved incredible violence against dehumanized enemies. Once you call someone a vampire (or a zombie, or a fox, or a rat) you can do anything to them. And that dehumanizes you/me. We want the thrills of senseless gore and violent action, but we don't want the emotional baggage. I don't believe that this reading material necessarily would lead to acting out, but I just think it bears noting.
     But, hey, it's a puff piece. Read it at the beach and wonder about every single person who comes by wearing sunglasses. Have fun with it. I did.